Thespian Talent

Fall within the soul of deep desire...

2007-03-28T03:55:00.000-07:00

So here I am, leaving for school like, now.

I am going to be running for VP of my entier school this coming year. Wish me luck. Gosh, I need a campaign manager...

you mean so much to me,
Joshua Fry

Deeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeep

2007-03-12T14:34:00.000-07:00

...

...

...

...

...

...

...

Why me.

Confession boy

2007-03-08T16:52:00.000-08:00

Alright, so here is the deal. I need help, for real. I have come to the realisation that I like someone (go me, first time I have fallen for someone -_-'') and it's a guy. Now, do I even bother to tell him or do I just put it aside and just continue to be friends with the individual in question? I really don't wanna get into much detail because heck, I don't wanna ruin friendship here. Also, I am fairly sure that the guy is straight and would not talk with me, or, being around him would be sufficiantly awkward if I told him.

So what am I to do, I need some input. Also, just for everyones information, the "you mean so much to me" thing before my name is ment for anyone who reads my posts. Anyone who takes the time to read about my life means alot to me.

You mean so much to me,
Joshua Fry

Horray for problems!

2007-03-06T18:52:00.000-08:00

Ok sooo.... while watching the Leafs game tonight something hit me and I don't like it one bit. I'm not going to say what it is, but all I will say is that it seems like something occured I never wanted to happen.

Frig, life is more complicated. I really hate the fact that I like guys. Really, fuck.

Maybe it'll blow over, I hope =]

You mean so much to me,
Joshua Fry

Come

2007-03-04T17:59:00.000-08:00

Come holy spirit, rid me of my sins. Forgive me of the wrongs I have comitted. Fill me up up up. fill me, please.... fill up my friends...make them happy...

You mean so much to me,
Joshua Fry

ehhhhh

2007-03-01T16:41:00.000-08:00

Today is not really good. tired, bored, lost will to give a crap about most things. For instance, I seriously just give up talking to new people on my own. for real, Ill say hi to the ones ive tried to get to know but thats about it from now on. I just give up. All five people ive tried to get to know this year by myself are well, distant. so I give up.

Chemistry sucks.

You are so important to me,
Joshua Fry

You know, I really want apples to spontainously eat themeselves!

2007-02-26T18:37:00.000-08:00

So, today was such a great day.

Not.

You mean so much to me,
Joshua Fry

Sliiiiime.

2007-02-23T15:38:00.000-08:00

Well, today was sorta cool... I guess. We made slime in chemistry, it was fun, except my partner wasnt really... a guy i'd hang with. So I was ultra bored, haha. Other peoplehad fun so thats good! The rest of the day really sucked..... I felt so sad and stuff. Haha. Iunno I just feel so down for some reason. Probably puberty... stupid puberty, it sucks.

Yeah that's it for me.. if im on MSN come and talk to me.. I got nothing better to do... frig.. =[

You mean so much to me,
Joshua Fry

I guess this is a new beginning...

2007-02-18T06:11:00.000-08:00

So the plays are all over and now I must wait until next year to audition for some more. It has been a fun time this past week or so and really, I am sad to see an end to this. I wish I could have gone to drama fest but alas, I cannot. So good luck to those going in april!

So I guess this means I will have more time to focus on my studies, heh, I cannot wait for that. No really, chemistry is my love and I really want to get a good mark on it. I am also physced for Biology, I am doing a Biochemistry project that is due March 12 and I am so happy for it.

I guess this is a goodbye for now, hopefully someone still reads this...

Stay Beautiful,
Joshua Fry

Final.

2007-02-16T20:30:00.000-08:00

One more day of Acting out. Please be there. Please, please be there.

Stay Beautiful,
Joshua Fry

525,000 moments to be sad

2007-02-15T18:05:00.000-08:00

You would think I would be happy after tonight, but no. I never saw a certain face in the audience. Haha, I don't know why it means alot to me but I dunno, I'd like to see him there, the plays are really good and he would love em, haha.

I feel like I am slowly just getting in your way, seriously. I dislike myself. I need someone who actually cares about me... to hug me... but no one does as far as I know.

I just want someone to care, someone to be with, someone to... hug.

Stay Beautiful,
Joshua Fry

Valentines Day

2007-02-14T12:44:00.000-08:00

No offense to anyone but ... Valentines day really sucks. I think I my like this guy I barley know but heck, I can't tell him. For one, I dunno if he swings that way, and two, I barley know him and he'd probably jsut stop talking to me and talking to me. Go me.

Stay ... Beautiful ... inside and out,
Joshua Fry

You are my shining star, the sharpest in the box. To me at least...

2007-02-12T19:09:00.000-08:00

So today was a great day. Missed the bus, rehersal today also. Uhh.... Thats about it.

Stay Beautiful,
Joshua Fry

Your the stylish one, you teach me how to draw unicorns!

2007-02-11T16:36:00.000-08:00

Ok so yea, so for once I am trying to plan things with a few friends. I hope it will work out, The plan is that this coming Sunday, we go to supper (probably a pizza palce) and then a movie :) I hope it works. I am going to invite 4 people, and those 4 can invite one person, thats it. No more people. Then we go, have fun, and dance. Pollock said he was up with it, I still need to ask Lisa and Meghan about it again, and Phil is a shower and wont come, haha. I still don't know who I am going to invite:P So if you know anyone that wants to go, tell them to MSN me?

Chemistry 121 Ib is freakin' awsome and I could not think of anything better to happen to me, besides making friends and learning new things everyday. Haha, well, I love it, and I hope I can remember the tons of types of names for VSEPR diagrams... yea, those seem to be murder. This paragraph is short.

I guess I am going for more clubs and study time. I cannot wait till I can attempt to go for Comittee Head of Spirit... I think I have a good chance, I just hope I get in :) Yup... yup. Swimming starts up again, So that's good. I'll be ready for next year. Tuesdays and Thursday mornings I shall be tired out of my mind.

I need a red/grey scarf.... (I cannot wait for my birthday, April 3rd... maybe someone will get me one?)

Stay beautiful,
Joshua Fry

2007-02-09T19:02:00.000-08:00

Click here for a funny on science.

I wish we could hang out. But I guess you never will want to.

Stay Beautifull, You know you always are,
Joshua Fry

Grade 12. Man, oh man.

2007-02-07T18:50:00.000-08:00

Ok, so here is what is going to go down this year. In may (or whenver the new comittee heads are chosen) I am going for spirit. Why? because I got a hell of alot of it and I want alot of things to happen. (I.E spirit nights, loud crowd). Also, I really want to be part of the SRC and seriously, I am aiming for plaque of distinction. Which means, go me.

Tonight it occured to me, I am very passionate about my school. I mean really, I screamed all bloddy night long and wouldnt stop. I love my school and I love to support it. so yea. Also, I really need a scarf. Phil lent me his so I had red and grey on, and man, I actually look sorta cool in it, haha, well, I like it, all that matters right? So I may ask his sister to make me one, (I know her so ya). Anyways, Sea Dogs won 3-1 and we totoally OWNED harbour view high at cherring which is awsome becuase we have about 60 less people. Also, we won overall. Haha. Go us.

Overall it was a, as Andrew Pollock would say, Sah-weet time and awsome people. Alot of people showed their true spirit tonight and man, it was just such an awsome time.

~Peace.

Stay beautiful,
Joshua Fry (CaptinMartini)

So stab me over and over again, your words are unmoving in my soul

2007-02-06T18:02:00.000-08:00

I feel like there is a hole in my heart. I am missing something in my life, and that is someone to care for... I want to have that feeling ... when someone cares for you and you care for them... I want to be able to hug someone... who wants to hug me back ... with love.

Stay beautiful,
Joshua Fry

I come unbidden to the dreamer.

2007-02-05T17:19:00.000-08:00

The Frame represents my life. Empty. won't you help me fill it?

2007-02-05T03:56:00.000-08:00

Stay Beautiful,
Joshua Fry

David Suzuki signed my chemistry notebook.

2007-02-03T18:58:00.000-08:00

Ok, so today was a great day in my life. I helped out at my school for the David Suzuki thing and guess what? I got to chat with him a little, told him how inspiring he was and asked for an autograph. Ya'know where? My chemistry notebook. Man, I am in awe. He is such a wonderfull person.

His words were moving, and prefect. His power of speech is very nice and increadable. If you ever get a chance to see him in person, do so. You will not soon regret it. The speech was incredable and I cannot really describe it, well, the word awsome doesnt come close. Seriously, he has inspired me to be more economic. Did you know that if we had started being Eco-concerned in 1988, when we were told to, we would have exceeded the Kyoto Accord already? I know eh?

Frig man, I am just so happy right now, I have met of the big influences of my life and now, wow. It's just so awsome....

Stay beautiful,
Joshua Fry

All-up ons.

2007-02-01T12:25:00.000-08:00

Today was, for lack of an intellegent word, stellar. I really enjoyed how today went, and I really hope that it (school) continues to be so awsome and such. I don't have any homework, but I am going to look over what I have written.

Frist off, Chemistry 121IB with Morrell. She is an awsome teacher, appearing to be very interested in chemistry. I love the class, it gave me a few chuckles today. Sad thing is, I only know on person in it and it's the person I think doesnt wanna talk to me? I dunno, maybe i'm just mental. Anyways, great class. I cannot wait to start doing some more stuff in it. Looking back over my notes, today we covered the baisics of Chemical Bonding, and we barley touched Lewis structures. I honestly cannot wait for tomorrow when we get our Zumdahl's (4th edition).

Next class was Functions and Relations 112 with Hogan. Good explainer but ... she makes me feel like I am in grade one. She talks to us like we are little kids and that is really the only thing I dislike about the class. I can get the work done easily. So yea, today we covered baisic Trigonometry. Fun stuff.

Next class after that was English 112 with Reperrt. Good guy, awsome and hilarious. Spent the class discussing rules. Nothing much else. Zac's in my class so I know someone at least.

After lunch, which I spent outside the cafeteria selling tickets for the spirit game on the 7th, I had E block seeing as it was a flip day (Tuesdays and Thursdays, D and E block are flipped for variety). So, E block Geometry and Applications with Teed. Good lady, awsome classroom. Not class, I really dislike how alot of them are the gangsters and this one girl next to me has her phone on and it rings, so yea. Today we did Probability and it is very simple.

D block, oh man how I love this class. Almost as much as I love Chemistry. This is Biology 120 with Morrell. I still love how enthusiastic she is towards science in general, makes me feel like less of an alien in the world really. Today we took notes on the nerve cells, and the parts of a nerve cell. We discussed "white matter" and "grey matter" of the human brain and spinal cord (white matter can repair itself, gret cannot). Lisa was nice enough to lend me some of her highlighters so I could underline important things (we sit next to eachother so it's fairthly awsomer).

That was my day really. Nothing important happening and probably nothing cool or awsome is going to happen in the next few days or so. Meh, not that I am concerned. I just wish to make people happy. I care less about myself as long as others around me are happy.

I am going to be typing up my Chemistry 121IB and Biology 120 notes if anyone wishes to access them if needed.

Chemistry 121 IB - Click to visit notes
Biology 120 - Click to visit notes

Stay beautiful,
Joshua Fry

So the monkey on your face is there for vacation, right?

2007-02-01T03:26:00.000-08:00

Almost ready to leave for school, just msning it up with faith who is in aussie right now (faithdownunder.blogspot.com). Man, I wish I could have fun like that, haha. Oh well, guess I will have to wait until I am in university.

I cannot wait for chemistry today, it's in A block. Then I am off to math class. Woo, functions and relations! (I failed the exam and course with a 28%, and a 54% respectivly.) So yea, I am taking it again. I got into Mr. Reperrts English class again, so yea. Uhhh ... Then there is Bio with morrell (I have morrell for bio and chem, goooo me) and it seems ok. Then I have geometry and Apps. Hopefully fun.

My Course For Semester Two;

A block - Chemistry 121 IB - 317, Morrell
B block - Functions and Rea. - 315, Hogan
C block - English 112 - 305, Reppert
D block - Biology 120 - 233, Morrell
E block - Geometry and app. - 101, Teed

Hope I can does well. I'm off to school I guess.

Stay wonderfull,
Joshua Fry

I will lock you in a room filled with everything you hate ... and ducks.

2007-01-28T06:41:00.000-08:00

I wonder when wednsday will get here ... because honestly, I have nothing to do until then. I can't even read ahead in chemistry because I had to give my textbook back. Sad thing is, this semester, I am going to make at least 95% in all my classes by first report. That's right, 95%. No I am not insane I am simply being realistic. I can do this, so I am going to prove it to you all, that, and I just really want to work at something.

So out of mutter bordem, I started playing a game again, Maplestory. My old characyer got owned by some kid somehwere, he deleted it. So I am starting new and hopefully it will work out because well, I need something to take up my free time with other then schoolwork. And god forbid I have people to hang out with, becuase I dont. Doesn't bother me one bit. I'm happy knowing they are having fun.

So sorry about the lack of photos in the other blog, I recently ... misplaced my camer and so yea, but hey, I found it again so now I can take photos... Of what? I am not sure of yet. We shall see what comes from my utter bordem. First I have to charge it though!

So, I made a vow to obtain a 98% before exams in chemistry this semester. Along with that vow comes the vow to make at LEAST a 6 in 2008, in may during the final chemistry Ib exam. Apparently, most university that accept IB, if you get a 5 or higher, let you skip first year university seeing as you have done it so woo. Also, I really want a 7 overall at the end of this IB program. It would sure help my evil plot to get a full scholarship to someplace where I can you know... study chemistry.

I am not sure what I want to go into, but pharmasutacle chemistry(sp) and Toxicology seem to be attracting me. I mean, in toxicology, you get to help make antidotes and stuff for poisions and you learn about poisions. In pharmasutacle chemistry(sp) you help make new therapudic drugs for the market and such. It would really ease my mind in knowing im helping, or will be helping someone with my knowledge someday.

Overall, my life has been very, very boring. Seriously though, it seems like I am moving so slow that time itself is going to stop soon if I don't pick somthing up. I really want to do something but I dunno what, and my main goal is to do well in school. Also (man I just sneezed big time, my eyes hurt, haha.) I need to do well with tech crew. I'm doing the musical with, someone correct me if I am wrong, Kyle Suttie. Great guy, awsome sound techy. Apparently we share half the board and such but I am afraid I will mess up. Good thing we have rehersals ... I should show up.

Yeah, I really feel like I have become myself. I am actually well, me. I am calm, I am helping around the house and I know I can do well in school. I want highest marks in some classes and I aspire to be a high honours when I graduate... or at least honours. Heh, I guess it's time for me to sign off and uhh... probably do some crunches to my music? Probably. Yeah, exercise time Josh!

Have a great day everyone,
Joshua Fry (I wanna own a popsicle stick and call it bob when I grow up, mommy!)

Who will want to make my sandcastle that's already made...

2007-01-19T15:55:00.000-08:00

I am a mirror, with no reflection
I am a razor, without my blade
I am the daylight, when the moon shines no
Who will want to make my sandcastle that's already made
-"useless" Imogen Heap

Today is one of the best days of my life and I wish I knew why. I feel like I have feelings for someone, but I don't care if I do because they are straight, I accept that so I will just move on. He's nice though, one of my best friends (go me, yay). Anyways, exams begin this week coming so that is something to think about...

Why do I make people smile.

It is not a question I ask, but a statement I put forward to anyone who is reading this. I want to know, have I ever made you laugh? Ever made you smile and feel better about yourself? I really want to know. I am finally finding what God needs of me but I want to be sure. Please, if you have ever been made... happy by me, like, even if I jsut put a smile on your face for some random thing, made your day just that much better, comment or email me.

I want you to smile right now. Go ahead, give yourself a chuckle, a pat on the back. Why? Well, that answer is simple. Because you deserve it. Go on, smile. I could show up in a pink flannle dress and tickle you instead, but sadly I don't own one. (if you do, contact me, haha) Anyways, Please, try and smile more, be a better person, help others talk to people you don't even know. Make new friends, it may seem hard but heck is it fun! I mean, it's great to know you tried something at least, I mean, Everyday as someone how their day was or just say hey, how are you? You feel better and I think they do also knowing that someone is showing interest in their life.

Man, I wish I knew.

I wish I knew who.

I wish I knew why you make me smile.

Stay beautiful, on the inside and out, forever.

I love you. Each and every one of you.

And I love you.

-Joshua Fry (peace and love, forever)

Wee

2007-01-18T18:11:00.000-08:00

Look at me. I know what I need to do in life, make people smile.

I wanna live in my locker. Or school.

2007-01-12T15:33:00.000-08:00

Well, I can say one thing about this week, I think he doesnt think I am a freak? I dunno, but hes talking to me more then he has. Like, if I ask how his day went or something to that effect, he asks how mine went. Gives me hope that we can be friends someday ... maybe...

Still waiting for my laptop to be fixed. Grr... Stupid dell.

Stay beautiful, whoever you are
Joshua Fry (smallish fried goods)

Yes, she hit several cows. There was milk everywhere...

2007-01-11T15:35:00.000-08:00

Ok so a few days back in school and how is my life doing you may ask? Boring, absolutly bored. I literally want this semester to end so I can try something new next semester. I also want my brain to stop liking people. Seeing as anyone I end up liking is straight and/or is not interested in me, I feel I have the right to tell my brain to stop.

Today was quite the good time I guess, I cannot get exempted from any exams because of my school active-ness. Stupid 35 excused absents... all from Tech Crew and Swimming. So I guess I have to work for all my exams, ick.

Tomorrow is my theatre arts final play presentation. I was under the impression that it was say, next friday but apparently it is tomorrow so at lunch I ahve to just set two lighting cues and then it's all good and ready. Ugh, I hate this.

Chemistry is going swell, besides the fact that I hate every single moment of it. I really wanna know why I want to be his friend, like really, I never talk to people I do not know, or am not introduced to. Friiig! I wish I knew why. I hate this. That, and I feel stupid for talking to him, hehe, he probably thinks I am just a stupid person, or a moron, or something along those lines.

My computer is still unusable so really, I cannot do anything. I've really been on my bottom watching TV alot. Man, I am so bored.

If anyone wants to hang with me, please let me know! I am desperate for human interaction, not alot of it like a party (i ususally hate those because well, people usualy have others to talk to) but like, if anyone is free and bored, haha, I am your guy. not really, I suck at haning out...

Stay beautiful, whoever you are...
Joshua Fry (confused yet anxious)

Cry me a river, I could use the swim.

2007-01-07T14:29:00.000-08:00

Depression has finally caught up with me. I am very depressed about tomorrow, for more reasons then even I know about. I just want to curl up and die it's so horrible.

Stay ... who cares? no one reads this anyways...

Joshua fry (small fry)

Well, you see when a man and another man fall in love ... they hug.

2007-01-05T20:33:00.000-08:00

"On a small planet, where minute follows minute, day follows day, year follows year, where tradition marches on with a deafening, orderly beat --- sometimes the order is disturbed by a dreamer, an artists, a scribbler --- sometimes the beat is changed by one person at a time"
- Scribbler of Dreams

This accuratly portrays mankind in many forms, and it also is what defines my existance. I am here to make a change, and a change I will make. We are all here for a purpose, some are here to inspire others to make a change, others to hold it all togather. In this fragile clockwork world we live in, we all have a purpose. Although it is always different, it is always of the same importance.

Hi, my name is Joshua Harlen James Fry. My exsistance is to make a change in peoples lives, and the world around me. My purpose, is to interfear with the prefect order of nature. My purpose, is to do gods bidding. My purpose, is to change the world.

I am here to change the world.

This may not be directly, but my actions in my life will stir something much bigger then myself. I am a part of the beginning fo something fantastic. Something new, something revolutionairy.

I am part of the new world. I am part, of him, of you, and of everyone.

I represent everyone I have met, or will meet. I am a ghost, I am a shadow, I wander along taking it all in. Exhaling little. I am the deep depression, I am the gathering storm. I am the one who will help the others. I am the ground, I am the sea, I am the tree's, I am the leaves of golden brown.

I am Joshua Harlen James Fry,

and I love you, all of you.

Stay beautiful, whoever you are
Joshua Fry (small fry)

Dell's phone service is VERY evil.

2007-01-04T14:38:00.000-08:00

Right now I am on the line, listening to some random generic voice and music waiting for a technition Rep to answer the darn phone so I can tell him/her that my key fell off, and that my AC adapter is .. well ... not AC adapting when I want it to.

I really hope they can help me, if I ever get a hold of them. That, and it is really hard to navigate throughout their phone service. I mean, you have to say things, and if you say it wrong, they take you to the wrong place... ugh. so horrbile.

I need to get this fixed alot. Man ... ghhhhh. anyways, Oh score, I got into contact with them. ^_^ Now he jsuts needs to get an approval with his supervisor! YAY?

stay beautiful, whoever you are
Joshua Fry (small fry)

Well, Wonderful things can happen. Unless you shoot them with a gun.

2007-01-03T17:36:00.000-08:00

I wonder what will happen during exams this year, haha, I probably will totoally forget alot of things or maybe even study for the wrong one. I did that last year, Study for math for five days, come to school, take english. I totoally bombed that exam. But nontheless I cannot wait to see if I can get into Mr. Repperts class for english next semester, I like him as a teacher, I have him this semester but I want him next semester. Haha.

Today was very ... odd. I could not sleep because of alot of things I had to think about. I really feel like am understanding more about my mind, and hopefully some more about the world around me. It's a never ending quest.

I have been reading out of my chemistry text book and decided to write up a mini booklet. If you want to read it, you can read it by going to the LINKS section of my blog, and click "Thespian Muse" I will have it posted there shortly ( a download to it ).

Stay beautiful, whoever you are
Joshua Fry (small fry)

Quiz

2007-01-02T14:27:00.000-08:00

How much does one person know about me?

http://www.quizyourfriends.com/quizpage.php?quizname=070102172646-532316&

Innocent Eyes

2007-01-02T11:35:00.000-08:00

This is the only color image of me I like.

Taken on January 2nd, 2007.

Innocent eyes - Joshua Fry 2007

Stay beautiful, this is for you.

Please someone, help me.

2007-01-01T13:35:00.000-08:00

So yea, I really wish my life was more simple, I wish I wasn't a bisexual because I like this guy and I don't want to. Man, I feel like I want to just give it all up, to let it all go to end it, but I know that that's not the answer and that god works things out soon. I just hope it's within a few weeks or else I might explode.

Stay beautiful, you know who you are,
Joshua Fry (small fry)

ps; end it

The Subconcious Mind

2006-12-29T12:19:00.000-08:00

Below is just one of the millions of theories about the world around us, the human mind, and other things...

---

The subconcious mind is an extremely delicate, and powerful thing. It exists to those who can access and control it, this usually occuring in dreams or in some vision brought on by deep sleep.

From my stand-point; When the first humans developed the sub-consious (or god, whatever your stand on that is) it was made to be, ever lasting. Everlasting in this sense is that, the first few people, how many that was, were born (or created) with a pure subconsious mind. They were clean and ready to be recorded on.

In order to understand the rest of what I think the subconsious mind is about, one must understand that to me, all minds are internally connected, via brain waves, to each and every single other brain. Take it was a, extremely big internet connection that never fails. One that, even after death, continues on , masked under another connection spot. A connection spot in these terms is simply just another person's sub-consious.

Now that I have that cleared up. In my view, every mind is connected via these connection made by our subconsious, and when I say subconsious, I am not saying anything about our subconsious that jsut operatres simple organ tasks, I am talking about the storage of information, baisically, the memory. These connections are each linked to the full subconsious of one person, each person has one and always will.

Imagine, say, that your subconsious is a homepage on the internet. One that is difficult to navigate, unless you know how to. This is what it baisically is, to me at least. Everyone has certain, "pages", that hold different information. this information could be anything from memory that has happend in your life, or the baisic instincts we all have.

Now, going back to when someone dies. Their subconsious does not die with them, it lives on through the various connections and pathways it is linked to by other subconsious minds. The information that was contained on the dead persons, "pages", could now be scaterred over millions upon millions of other peoples "pages". these old "pages" of the one who is dead is pushed under the oens of the living one, and thus, become the hardest to locate.

So now, this becomes complicated. Once someone dies that had someone elses "pages", all of THIER information and the information of the person before them will be scattred also. Thus, a subconsious never completely dissapears. As a result, information can be bunched up so much that it becomes increasingly difficult to recall. Even in dreams.

Now, when I said that people can call upon their sub-consious, I ment those who have seen things in their dreams, that they have not seen for a very long time, old memories, childhood events, or even ... someone elses life. or possibly even the future. This has happend and has even been reported and recorded.

Now, assuming that this is correct, about the connections. It could become possible to access ones subconsious at will and thus, connecting with everyone consiously and seeing what others have done. So far though, no one has been able to do this and able to report it. Sadly, if this could ever happen it would require so much brain power that one could die from it. Considering how complicated the human brain is.

Thank you for reading, also, I have had these ideas since I was arond ten years old. So yea, I have thought this through. alot.

Discuss your own ideas and opinions.

---

I wonder why, I wonder where. Will it work, will it tear?

2006-12-27T20:21:00.000-08:00

I want to hurt myself so much. I really do. I don't want to be like this, but I am I really hate myself for it. Frig, I have tried so hard not to be like this. Someone, please it end, somehow.

Stay beautiful, you know who you are,
Joshua Fry (Small Fry)

Look at me, I am in a tree. One Two Three. Papaya is a Phu-Un-E.

2006-12-26T14:18:00.000-08:00

Today was sorta well, how else to put it but deadly boring. I mean really. I did nothing, literally nothing all day. Ick, I feel sick. Christmas was good I guess, I wish I had gotten more people stuff but I could not. I got some sweaters (yay!) and a calculator (literally what I asked for). I also aquired a Risk board game (:3).

I wish I was in chemistry class. Or at least, near chemistry class. Around chemistry class. Ugh. I've already started to make a note package for myself and maybe a few other people if they want it to help study for the exam... frig, I need a life. Or someplace to go haha.

This post be short because I am going to, due to my utter bordness, either set the Risk board up and figure out stratagies, or play Empire Earth and rule the world that way. Either way, I am playing alone, haha.

Stay beautiful, you know who you are,
Joshua Fry (Small Fry)

PS: You make me smile and laugh, haha.

Mommy, my pancake is looking back at me ...

2006-12-22T11:33:00.000-08:00

Well today was odd in it's own way. Playing DDR is just oh so much better when you play it against your teachers, in the library! I mean really, what more could there be, ahha. Captin Jack is a good song.

I wished everyone I could think of a Merry Christmas, what felt odd is that I said see you next year. That just feels so ... odd to say, I mean really. Man, I wish I could be spending time with alot of people, well, only a certain three people but still. All I am doing right now is sitting on a rocking chair, with my laptop, trying to find some stepmania song packs so I wont be bored for the next oh say 6 hours? Frig. I need a better non-boring life.

Nevermind the song stuff, it is a no go. Man, I am going to be bored in ST. GEROGE tomorrow, I feel like I wont talk to anyone, I mean that, I wont; haha. I wish I could go to friends house's instead. Latang is sorta boring...

Stay beautiful, you know who you are,
Joshu Fry (Small Fry)

The House of Commons needs a strobe light.

2006-12-21T18:59:00.000-08:00

1. Are you wearing a necklace?
Nope, I cannot tie the hemp hodge had.

2. What is the last thing you got in the mail?
University information package from ST. Francis Xavier

3. Crush?
Don't have one...well, don't think I do.

4. What color is your shirt?
Blue/black
5. How many bedrooms do you have in your house?
5

6. What song are you listening to?
Amerika - Rammstein

7. What was the last mall you've been to?
Does Market Square count?

8. Are you alone?
Sadly, yes. I usually am.

9. Do you have any older siblings?
Yes, two times the fun and pain!

10. What was the last thing you ate?
One Cookie. My eye hurts now. Damn you chocolate.

11. Who was the last person to come over to your house?
Sometime in the summer someone did.

12. Who was the last person to call you?
This happend around a year ago....

13. Who was the last person who texted you?
Santa, on my imaginary Cell Phone

14. What should you be doing?
Nothing really, studying maybe? I have two months to do stuff.
15. Who is the last person you IMed?
Nikolay asking about the lab and stuff.

16. Did you go out to eat yesterday?
No

17. What are you thinking right now?
Before I read what hodge wrote, I was thinking of how to talk to a certain person more.

18. What color are your pants?
Black, still in my dress pants

19. What color is your keyboard?
Black like the sky?

20. What do you feel like eating/drinking?
Nothing, I am way to fat for either.

21. Are you in college?
Nope. someday soon though.

22. What is the last phrase you wrote?
Man, I need someone to talk to.
23. Are you bored?
Yes, Yes I am.

24. How many teeth do you have?
All of them minus the wisdom ones. IM NOT WISE?
25. Do you wear glasses?
Nope, My eyes are usable.

26. What color are your shoes?
...Disgusting?

27. Last thing you drank?
Some type of healthy juice substance.

28. Last kiss?
Never happend.

29. What are you doing right now?
Trying to NOT become sad about how I never have anyone to be with. Too late.

30. What are the last words you said?
Ok, mom, I wont stay up too late.

31. Do you have clothes on?
No, I am stark naked. Of course I have them on silly.

32. Best part about today?
Being around people I know.

33. If you could be anywhere right now where would it be and who with?
Right now? honestly? I would love be with Nikolay finishing the lab.

34. Do you like llamas?
Don't get me started. Llamas are awsome. Not as awsome as Meese, but awsome none the less.

35. Do you have a cut on your pointer finger?
I ahve a type of cut.

36. Where is your cell phone?
Somewhere in china maybe ... being made ... ?

37. Do you have any friends named Robbie?
Nope

38. Do you have any friends named Nikki?
Nope

39. Do you have any friends named Mary?
Nope

40. What were you doing last night?
I was mixing a song with phil marmen, then I got home and did nothing.

Stay Beautiful, you know who you are.
Joshua Fry (Small Fry)

Hey look out the window, it's the loner.

2006-12-21T15:41:00.000-08:00

Word, so yea, just posting because I am slightly depressed about not going to cab, I wish I had gone but really, I didn't ask anyone, or get asked. Woo. I wish I could be with friends though, or at least with one person and we can just chill and talk maybe. Frig, I am so depresing, haha.

Stay beautiful. You know who you are,
Joshua Fry

I am the Pellican. I am the Walrus. No, I am the Moose ...

2006-12-21T12:32:00.000-08:00

Well, today must have gone fast, seeing as I cannot recall most of it. Only thing I can recall is trying to find people to wish them a merry Christmas, sadly I did not find everyone. I need to make Christmas cards tonight and hopefully people will be there tomorrow, haha. Man, I really hope you all have fun on your Christmas break.

I also hope people have a fun caberate this year, seeings as I am not gonna be going this year due to the fact that the guy I wanted to ask ... umm let's just say I don't know him ight? I may just start studying for the Chem Exam tonight, seeing as I literally have nothing to do.

I anyone is doing anything, please, do call me, haha. I am bored xD.

Stay Beautiful, you know who you are,
Joshua Fry (Small Fry)

I wish I could be all up-ons this.

2006-12-20T18:02:00.000-08:00

Ok, so here be the deal for what is going down. Tomorrow, I need to apologize to Jessica for saying things I never ment to do, I just hope she doesnt act all stupid again. I also need to say sorry to Nikolay because I feel as if he did all the work for the lab, which makes me feel like a slacker and that is not what I want to be. Ugh, so much to do. I also need to give some christmas cards out to Kat, Zac, Nikolay, Phil, and some other people I cannot think of right now. Yeah.

Phil and I finally got the ___________ done, and man I dare say we did a smashing job of it. It took hours, literally, and it should have only taken us, fifteen minutes. Go bad programs! Woo... So yea, tomorrow is the SJHS VARIETY SHOW 2006 so I better see you all there, or else I will murder your pickles and eat your eyes. Er, wait, murder your eyes and eat your pickles. Yes, I ment to say that ... heh.

The lab went well today, I guess. It was very confusing reading the voltmeter's and we discoverd that we had read one wrong and I totoally forgot to ask what the units of the conductivity was in, so score there. I have to do up a Raw data table and then do up a proper procedure, I need to do that with Nikolay sometime soon, but I don't think it will be tomorrow because from lunch 'till the end of the day, I am in the theatre next to Jake on the sound board. Man, I hope we get this done. Nikolay is such a great lab partner, haha, he knows what we need to do and when. Me on the other hand, I stand there and act like a moron ... woo ...

I really need to do this essay about the Holocaust. Horray for that? Maybe not. I am off, until next time, it's time for a cliche of a rock singer. GOOD NIGHT BLOGGER.COM! YOU BEEN AWSOME! I'LL BE HERE ALL WEEK!

Thanks for readinating,
Small Fry

"Be there, or be square!"
"Are you being racist?"
-awkward silence-

I really want this to appear on Family Guy. Really. A box guys says the second line.

I'm a renegade, I spell apple with a three.

2006-12-19T18:42:00.000-08:00

Alright, here is the deal, this here post is a confession about me. Who I am, and why I am me. Most people don't even know me, or want to know me, or think they know me. Only two people actually 'know me', and really, it's Kat and Phil.

First thing you should know about me; I am bisexual. I guess you could say it's not really a 'new' confession, but really more of a, get used to it, kind of thing. I dunno, also, please don't be like the those people who think I must like every single guy on the planet. It's rather immature. In fact, I have never actually liked someone so really, I don't know what it feels like. Go me. If you cannot stand me being a bisexual, you should leave me alone now. >.>

Next 'confesstion', I guess these are not really confessions if I already told people, or they know. I am extremely non-confident in myself. I think everything I do is very stupid, or no one likes it. I worry that people think of me as nothing more then just a moron or something. I am also very uncomfortable with my body, don't even tell me to loos weight because I am, if you knew me in grade 9, then yea, I am doing good.

Moving on, I like meeting new people and I am very shy, yes I said shy. Unless I am around people I know, I am shy, I get shaky and nervous. I usually stutter unless I am confortable around the person. I also usually do stupid things and such.

I really love music. It is one of the few things in life that make me happy, the other two are being with people that can stand me, and Chemistry. Music is a passion for many reason, mostly because it is so influential and, being a sound techy is awsome fun. Chemistry is quiet good, I really enjoy it, if I could, I would spend hours upon hourse doing it, sorta like I do already... I really do enjoy it. I usually spend 4 to 6 hours on it if I can.... My friends, or people who can stand me, man, I really love them, plutonically, not really in love with them you know what I mean. they make my life happyable. If that makes sense, aha.

Finally, I really enjoy being around people. I like getting to know people and I really love spending time with people, just learning about them. It is something to do and you learn alot about the world around you, where people come from, and such like that.

Just a note, I wont be updating this here blog from this Saturday to monday, I will be in ST. George visiting my grandmas, where I used to live for a long time, ahah.

Peace out,
Small Fry

A Little confusion on the side a little bit of nausea at my righ'...

2006-12-18T15:10:00.000-08:00

Today was a great day, for being sick. I totoally forgot my lappy so phil and me could not work on the _________. That, and I feel like blah, I really feel like just laying down and dieing. It's a bad feeling, and I don't like it... I wish someone was there.

I guess you can call me weird, I feel like I am alone, gosh, I really wish I could have someone to be there for, someone to care for, worry about, someone to spend time with when we are bored, or when (s)he is scared or sad. I wish I had someone, I know I have all my life to find someone, but I feel as if I am ment to find someone now. I guess I am just to eager.

The planning lab is going OK I guess, me and Nikolay are just currently passing it back and forth, editing it if we find anything wrong with it. We get to work on it tomorrow so that is awsome, frig man. The Lab is on wednsday and you know what else is due on wednsday? The Chapter 5 questions, gah! I need to finish it very fast, like, tonight.

Well, I guess that Today can be summed up in one word. Icky-Happy-Awsome-Odd. I wish I could meet more new people, the only person I met in the past few months was Nikolay and he is really cool but shy, haha, goodluck trying to know more about him. Is it a problem I have? I like getting to know people, I like learning what they hate, what they like, who they are, what they do. It's like a phobia I have when I meet someone, I do it to everyone, I like knowing about people, It helps me talk to them or just chill whith them and stuff. Heh, go me for being weird.

I need to make Christmas cards for a few people, mostly for close friends but I plan to make some for not-so-close friends and such. It's great to receive a Christmas card, but it's even better to receive one. I guess it is...

I found that I had sixty-six dollars in my bank account the other day, I withdrew fourty and will spend it on my families Christmas gift, they are all chipping in money to pay for four rabbits to be given to a needy family in africa. It's all I can do and I really want to donate some money, but I believe that its not what the gift is, but how it is given. I'd rather get a card and some candy then get a nine-hundred dollar item. It's the thought and people need money more then I do. Heh, there I go again. I guess I can wrap this up, time for dishes.

I'm bringing the name back,
Small Fry.

Chemistry consumes me...

2006-12-16T07:19:00.000-08:00

Well, It has finally happend. I am now a Chemistry nerd, haha. I got home yesterday and guess what I did from that time and around 10:00pm? That's right, I did chemistry. I got a good chunk of chapter five done and then I took a break for a movie, which I left halfway because Alex needed help on the questions. I helped her with 3 and then I had to leave for sleep, it was 1am! This morning I got up, went on my computer, checked my email (nothing), and then I did some more questions. I mean, it is really simple...

Nikolay and I decided on what to do for the lab, and seeing that my idea really wasn't an idea (haha, go me) We are using his -smile-. I could tell you what it was but uhh, I don't wanna! haha. I really hope we get a good mark for our first planning lab... Kingston said not to worry if we totoally bombed it though.

Today is going to be fun (yeah, right). I have to go to work today, ick, I want to quit but my mom wont let me. After that, I am off to the HardStone Church Cafe (or whatever is left of it) for helping take down stuff and then we have a sleep over at the church! Horray! Just guess what I will be doing all night? Go on, guess.

School is going good for the first time in ages, I know I worry alot about other things nd if I will get so and so done in time but I know I will, I mean, I know more then I think I already know about chemistry, math, english, and Mod. Hist. I just wish I knew if anyone else was doing what I am doing, and that is taking Chem 121IB next semester and then in grade 12, taking Advacned IB chem...

I'm off, stay beautiful, whoever you are,

Joshua Fry

Lithium

2006-12-12T12:14:00.000-08:00

Today was a great day, I really liked today. I seem to be having great days now, and all I can thank is Jesus. Today was awsome and I finally got a lab partner, thank god for nice people :)

Other then that, I got my Hemp necklace back and fixed, I love it, haha, makes me feel me? I dunno. This post is random.

I'm out, gotta pack for tomorrow night, leaving for Maramachi with swimming for provincials, gone all day thursday, back friday, I hope I get the lab done tomorrow...

-Joshua Fry

Enjoy life man, it's to short to not do anything.

No more hemp!

2006-12-11T18:08:00.000-08:00

My hemp just broke. Darnit. Now I am hempless.

Horray Hodge Had Hemp!

2006-12-11T12:44:00.000-08:00

Today was such an awsome day, I cannot really relate it to anything. Oh wait, yes I can, the same happy as when I got into Chemistry 111 IB! haha. Today Erin Hodge gave me my first Hemp necklace and I love it, I really need more stuff like that so if anyone is looking for a gift to give me someday in the future ... -wink-.

Let me start with the morning, I guess it was very good because well, yea. I had all my homework done and everything and Phinney got me those Variety Show posters to put up at lunch so yea. I asked Nikolay to help but he was a bum and couldn't (just joking, hes a cool cat). I got help from Colin Hodd and Liz though, all good.

B block was a smash hit, Wilton played some James Blunt and some along with Credence Clearwater Revival and some The Fray and to end things off, a few Snow Patrol songs. It was a wicked class. C block was OK, Reppert was sick (can he even catch a cold ... ?) and so we had Bury as a substitute.

Lunch was a grand 'ol time, spent it by getting Collin to help me put up posters, got liz to help me color in the J's so the poster read "SJHS" instead of "SHS" (simmonds high). Heh, I wish I had talked to some people about their labs though, it would have been a prefect time.

Chemistry was also a great class, Kingston pointed out that I only had ionic compunds (like OH) and so yea, that was the only problem he could point out, so I must be doing something right! right? Last class was good I guess, boring and such, then an assembly and then home.

Tried to ask Nik about his lab, seemed like a good idea, hope I can ask more about it, mine is pretty dull and like ... won't take long to do, haha.

I guess i'm done with this update, time for supper. Catch you all later!

~Joshua Fry

Random Hempage.

this makes me look good. I'm really actually a horid monster! =O

Step one you say we need to talk

2006-12-10T12:25:00.000-08:00

Nothing can describe my feelings at the moment of writing. I feel like I have been hit by a bus doing 30, yet I am happy. I am finally happy for once in my life and it is all thanks to a small group of people. the sad thing is that none of them will ever understand, or may never know that they have made my life happy for the first time in a long time.

I love to make people smile, it is so fun and rewarding. I always try to make people smile when they are down, and hopefully, I have helped at least one person smiled.

"and pray to god he hears you,
and pray to god he hears you."

For the past few weeks, I have been alone alot. I do not know why, maybe it's because the amount of work I am forcing myself to do. Maybe it is just because I am trying to hard to reach my goal of being a good person to anyone I can. Maybe it's this planning lab that is making me go insane.

Well, as a very nice person once said to me, "ah dont worry about it", I guess he was right, it usually works in the end.

I just hope I can find a new lab partner, I mean, me and my old lab partner split because we didn't really work well togather. hmph. I hope there is at least someone who wants to work with me haha. reminds me, I need to compare lab notes with someone. Ugh.

Enough procrastination for now, peace.

Joshua Fry